Gen 1 Chap 3 – Why Me?

Our gig was just beginning but no one was showing up. Yeah I know we weren’t super famous yet but still, just one old lady? Not cool bro, not cool. I took the few minutes before our show to tune up the guitar Waylon’s Haunt provided for their un-famous bands. All the while that old woman was staring at me.

“Can I help you?” I say gritting my teeth.

“Nope, I don’t believe you can.” she said.

“Uh huh…” I say placing the guitar down. Hopefully she wouldn’t touch it while I went to go change.

The gig started and even though it was a super small crowd, 3 plus the bartender, I think it went well.

Hell, even Thomas got into it.

Alistair, being cool, calm and collected as usual had a serious look on his face, but I could tell there was a smile in the undertone. What in hell could he be happy about I wonder?

Like I said, small crowd. We weren’t famous and by doing small things in shitty places like this, we probably weren’t going to get any where fast. Alistair said he had connections but sometimes I wonder where those connections are from.

After the gig I found myself at the bar next to that girl who was ever oh so lucky to have a front row view of Sound Ultra’s playing. I refuse to call that thing a gig anymore but we got paid so what the hay.

“You play really well.” She said to me.

“Yeah, I guess. I taught myself. With my natural gift for music, it was really easy…” I say not really wanting to engage in anymore conversation.

“I have a natural gift for art. I could paint the Mona Lisa if I wanted to.” She laughed.

“That’s nice.” I say.

“I’m Raven, and you must be Kodak. Uncle Ally has told me all about you.”

“Uncle… Ally? You mean Alistair?”

“Yep. I prefer to call him Uncle Ally instead of Uncle Alistair… that’s a mouthful y’know?” She said looking over to where Alistair stood.

This girl cannot be Alistair’s niece… Her hair was red for crying out loud! There’s no way Alistair could have an attractive family member. That’d be like the cosmos taking a shit on me if I actually got to like this girl and she really was Uncle Ally’s niece.

“Yo Kod’s! I see you’ve met the hottie who’s going to be staying with us.” Thomas says from across the bar.

“Heh, you should stop flirting with me Thomas. Uncle Ally is going to kill you.” Raven says.

“Yeah I have. Don’t do any stupid shit Thomas.” I say while checking my phone. I had gotten a text from Mataya saying she wanted me at her pool party which is odd because I don’t remember giving her MY number… Please Lord Jesus Christ with a Platinum Potato in Heaven do NOT let this chick be a stalker. I think to myself. If she is, Thomas can have her. He likes the weird ones. I noticed that Alistair took that opportune moment to get out of dodge. He dropped me a wink when he saw me looking at him. I hope he didn’t plan on me getting to know her but the more drinks I had, the more I wanted to.

“Dance with me.” She said.

“Noooo…?” I say a little buzzed and she could tell.

“You’re not good with your alcohol are you?”

“I’m not a heavy drinker no.”

“That’s good, now take my hand.”

“You know, that’s a real snazzy jacket you got on.” She says.

“Custom made. My parents bought it for me when I moved out.”

“Interesting…” She smiled at me.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask.

“Uncle Ally was right, you are cute. Besides him promising me a better life here in Bridgeport, I’d say I got a 2 for 1 deal.” She says and she leans in closer to my face.

“Stop. No. NO. I-I don’t…. I can’t even– WE hardly know each other!” I yell.

“I know that.” She says matter-of-factly. “I just wanted to see what you would do.”

“You wha?”

“Just trying to make sure you nor Tommy tries to make a move on me. I’m not here for you, I’m here for me. I won’t or will ever have time for romance here.”

“I dun getit?” I say, my worlds slurring a bit.

“Maybe ’cause you’re buzzed. Learn how to handle your liquor and don’t fall for every pretty face you see. Got that?” She said before walking out the door.

I assumed she was going to the apartment but doubted she knew how to get there. Then again, she’s Alistair’s problem not mine. Assuming is wrong but I still assumed he gave her a detailed layout of the city since he’s been here longer than I have. I just let her go on her way, hoping she would make it to the apartment. After all, Alistair couldn’t blame it on me for his missing niece.

“Uncle Ally, why did you leave me alone with him? He’s an idiot.” Raven says.

“I thought you could use a friend… Thomas stop staring at her breasts.”

“But they’re perfect.”

“I will throw you out of this window if you don’t stop staring at her.” Alistair threatens.

“Fine fine, not fair Kodak gets to have all the fun. He  got to slow dance with her but I don’t get to look at her boobs? This is an outrage!”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“No no! You are too late. My feelings are hurt and I shall retire to my bed.” Thomas says in an accent. As lighthearted as he was he also couldn’t handle liquor too well and when he got drunk… Thomas got British… or Irish, or Scottish, or German, Russian, Indian and Australian. It’s fun to watch him actually show a little genius but also annoying.

“By the way Unc, look at this!”

“If I close my eyes, perhaps they won’t see me touching her boobies.”

“Thomas, I’m right here I can see AND feel you.” Raven says.

“And if you don’t move your hand I will remove it for you. You won’t find it for a while… I’ll make sure of that.” Alistair says.

“Jeebus! okay, okay.” Thomas says and walks away.

“He’s funny.” Raven says.

“He’s also a dumbass which is why I don’t want him around you.”

“You say that like you’re my dad, I’m 18 Uncle, I can handle myself.”

“You better.” Alistair says. “I’m going to bed, you have your sleeping bag don’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah. Sleep on the couch or the floor but not in your room. I got it. I won’t do anything to cause them to get out of hand.”

“Good. And when Kodak comes back, tell him to take you out to see the city one day.”

“I will Uncle. Night” Raven says and sits down on the couch.

I avoided her for the last few days not wanting to embarrass myself any more than I need to. Unfortunately living in a 1 bedroom apartment didn’t leave much space for avoidance and eventually she caught up with me.

“You’re on my computer.” I say to her.

“Last time I checked, it was shared. Leave me alone I’m looking for a job.”

“A job? What are you going to do?”

“Stylist. I’m mediocre at it but it’s one of my passions. Fashion keeps me happy.”

“Couldn’t tell… judging by the way you dress.” I say to myself.

“Shut it Kodak. Besides what do you do? Nothing. You can’t even get a useless sing-a-gram.”

“How’d you know I was–”

“How could I not? All you do is sing in the shower, outside, in the living room, when you’re eating. Do I need to go on?” She says.

“Did you have to put it like that…?” I ask.

“Yeah I did. You may be cute Kodak but you lack ambition. You have a great voice and all you have to do is put it to use. Go out and sing for the city why don’t you? It’ll be nice.”

“You sound like an annoying girlfriend. Plus I’m not going out on my own in this city. The last time I did that this crazy chick tried to get me to go to a bar.”

“Then I’ll come with you. Plus Uncle Ally will get off my case.” she says.

“If you put it like that I guess I could… go out. I’ll bring Anubis too.”

“I’m sure he’ll like that. He’s a dog after all and being cooped up in this tiny apartment is probably taking a toll on him.”

And so we went out. I played my guitar while Raven was trying to teach Anubis how to sit. I never really trained him, I always assumed he knew everything I wanted him to do but I guess Raven decided he needed to be more “orderly”. There was someone else at the park and by the strange fashion I’m guessing it was Mataya. I think she is a stalker…

“Mataya…”

“Kody.”

“Are you stalking me?”

“Yep.”

“Well that was direct…”

“Why would I lie? I like you. Stalking was the only means I have to do. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Actually, I kind of do. You see stalking is–”

“That’s a groovy jacket you got there.”

“Thanks, custom made, but anyway stalking me is really weird so I would like you to NOT do that. Ok?”

“Uh huh.” she says.

“Are you sure? Or are you just saying ‘uh huh’ just because?”

“Uh huh!” 

“Oooh look there’s another girl coming over here. She’s pretty. Do you know her?” She asks looking over my shoulder.

“I don’t even– were you listening to me?”

“This the crazy chick you were telling me about? Matilda or something?” Raven says.

“Its Mataya but you can call me Matilda if you want. I’m his girlfriend.”

“GIRLFRIEND? No, oh HELL NO. We are NOT together!” I yell.

“I know that? Look Marylin or whatever, Kodak doesn’t like you. As a matter of fact, he says you give him nightmares.” Raven says to her.

“Oh that’s nice. I like to be in people’s dreams.” Mataya says almost dreamily.

“You bitch, are cray-cray! And who wears neon green with purple? That SO clashes with your hair!” Raven yells.

“I thought wearing neon would bring on the intergalactic space worms. Was I informed wrongly?”

“Oh my burgers, if I’ve been misinformed that means the Alliance of Platinum Pizzas have been too! I must stop this!” Mataya says.

“Da fuq kinda medicine you smoking?” Raven and I asks at the same time.

“I think she’s actually crazy.” Raven says to herself.

“The Czars of the Golden Banana Cult must be coming for me now! STAY BACK! BACK YE DEMONS!!”

“I think we should leave. NOW.” Raven says.

“Perhaps we should send her to a hospital?”

“Hospital? this woman needs an institute.”

“What are you talking about red headed one? Institutes are only for the mentally insane. I am perfectly competent.” Mataya says.

“Yeah, we’re leaving right now Kodak. Come on.” Raven says as she pulls my arm.

“Good bye my love with the interstellar jacket and the dame he now hangs out with!” Mataya calls after us. I never knew there were actual crazy people in this city. This is why I stayed indoors. I didn’t have to deal with people until I met Mataya. Now my life is going to be filled with randomness.

“Oh look a messenger of the APP. How are you today four legged friend?”

“You should stay away from my master human. I do not like you nor does he. I will make it my life’s mission to destroy you if you come near him again.”

“Daaw ok dog. If the APP says so I will leave him alone.”

Yeah that chick… is strange. Perfect for Thomas though. After we got back home Alistair was smiling at us when we walked through the door.

“I see you two had fun in the rain.” he says.

“Well… not exactly. Mataya came and–”

“Mataya? You had a girlfriend already? I didn’t know that.”

“She’s not my girlfriend. She’s a girl that I met one day that likes to stalk me and she came to the park and Raven here told her off.” I explain.

“All I said was stop stalking him and then she went on this crazy rant on intergalactic space worms and the FCC or something.” Raven says.

“Intergala… you know what, I don’t even care. At least she doesn’t know where you live right?” Alistair asks.

“That, I’ve been lucky on that so far. But don’t jinx it.” I say walking to the fridge.

Just then Thomas comes in and yells that there’s a girl downstairs raving on about space and worms or some shit. Great Alistair… you jinxed me. Mataya the Cray-Cray now knows where I live. God why did this happen to me? Why me….?